5k Race, Thursday night

O.K. I didn't finish the race. Not even close. Last night they thought they (MTV's Story Producer) would do a test on how well we have been doing. They thought we should enter this 5k race along with runners who run every weekend in races or at least 2x/month. Every Thursday there is 3 races, 3k, 4k & 5k thur White Memorial. MTV found out about this and entered us in it as a test. It wasn't a test at all. We knew Chris Jr. and Chris Sr. would do fine. Cindy ran/walk with the trainer and finished. The paths for the race were very unclear especially for first time runners so Chris Jr. ended up doing 10k and Cindy and the trainer did a little extra. I was last of all the runners and decided about 1 1/2 into it that I was lost and didn't even know were to find the right path. This is the only thing I made my mind up about so far that I was not going to finish. I am very positive and go into everything that way but this was crazy. MTV made us look absolutely like this fatty family. I was not going to let them make us look this way so I ended the race for myself. I don't mind going into something and not know how to do it and look like a beginner but I was just looking dumb and I will NOT put up with that. Me not finishing the race really upset my daughter. I will not even tell you everything that happen after the race because it was a lot of stuff that runs deep in my sole about how I feel about myself and my family and it was a big situation. MTV filmed it so I am sure it will make it on MTV and if it doesn't (which I hope it doesn't) that will be great. Just know that I am the core of this family and if things don't turn out good it usually is my fault. Me not finishing the race put my daughter over the edge. I wrote into MTV and told them that I thought they were wrong to put us in a situation with very advanced runners and let us compete. This is crazy. I wonder what they think of me now. I write into our Series producer almost every day so I am sure what he thinks of me?? Today better me a better day of filming or else. Todays big hi goes out to all of you that leave me comments. I really do appreciate them and thank you for reading my blog. Bonnie